Living With B

A summer in Greece for three best friends ends in the unthinkable when only two return home in this new novel by Ella Berman.

Ten years after being cleared in their friend Evangeline’s death during a summer in Greece, Bess and Joni have taken very different paths—Joni chasing fame, Bess hiding from it. But when Joni is linked to a similar crime, Bess must return to LA and confront the truth about that fateful night—and who she’s become since.

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My Thoughts

If there is one thing I love about a thriller, it’s being wrong — and Before We Were Innocent delivered.

The premise hooked me: three rich teens go to Greece, and only two come back. Was it an accident of something darker? I devoured every twist. The story follows Bess and Joni as the 10th anniversary of Evangeline’s death approaches. Bess has spent a decade hiding, while Joni turned her trauma into a brand of toxic positivity. Neither of them grew. Joni monetized her pain, and Bess clung to guilt and her past with Theo.

The story is told through flashbacks and present-day drama, as we unravel what happened that summer. The tension builds as Bess gets pulled back in: Joni’s fiancé, Willa, is missing, lie after lie leaves her lips, and Bess is covering for her, just like old times.

As the truth begins to be exposed, Bess begins to withdraw from Joni. She stops blindly trusting Joni and starts questioning her motive. Their dynamic shifts again — Joni protecting herself just as much as Bess.

It’s full of flashbacks and current-day drama that keeps you engaged. Teenage angst and the complex female relationships between three teens. Every flashback we got, up until the actual incident, I believed Bess had something to do with it. Why would you hold onto that guilt if you didn’t have a hand in her death?

After her death, Joni and Bess’s dynamic shifts. Bess becomes a ghost of who she once was, where Joni begins to profit off her trauma; creating a life for herself. They’re more strangers than friends by the time Joni is offered a full-time position at the company she interned at.

Their dynamic then shifts when Joni shows up at Bess’s small, quiet home to create an alibi for herself. Bess falls back into trusting every word that slips past Joni’s lips and finds herself back where they were 10 years ago. Joni’s fiancé is missing. Joni is lying. Bess is covering for her.

Once the truth comes out from that night, the dynamic between Joni and Bess once again shifts. Lie after lie, Bess has been fed and she’s finally grown a backbone to confront Joni and take the information and analyze it. Joni was saving herself, just as much as Bess.

Let’s talk about the characters. All of the girls felt relatable to me. It was interesting to see how this combative relationship played out and intrigued me how much their relationship reflected in my 18-year-old relationship. The only difference is that I did not have money, and I did not have the freedom to do as I please.

The characters felt real. Messy, flawed, and familiar. Ev was a peacekeeper with distant, wealthy parents, often the target of her friend’s jokes. Joni, chaotic and self-centered, always stirred the pot. Bess was more grounded but lost herself in the allure of their world. Their growth is limited, but that felt intentional — it’s not until the end that Bess begins to evolve.

With all of these good things, I don’t think the ending is all that satisfying. Joni disappears. The police suspect someone else in Willa’s death. Bess tells her truth, finally freeing herself from the past, but Joni’s fate is left open-ended.

I’ve seen a few theories regarding Joni’s disappearance:

1. Joni died by suicide, which is hinted at earlier.
   • I think this is extremely plausible as it was hinted at earlier that she would take her paddle board and be at sea.
2. Bess killed her — unlikely, but intriguing.
   • Although this is interesting, I don’t think this is plausible. There isn’t any indication that Bess could kill or would dissociate to the point of forgetting that she killed a friend of hers.
3. Joni disappears to give Bess closure.
   • This is also plausible, considering Bess mentioned that she knows it’s Joni at her front door, before even seeing her.

None of these are confirmed, and the ambiguity works, although I wish we could’ve had a more satisfying conclusion.

Do I Recommend ‘Before We Were Innocent‘

Overall, this is a really enjoyable book! It’s a solid mystery-thriller with compelling characters, a discussion about the complexity of teenage female relationships, and a plot that keeps you on your toes. It’s not nearly as intense as The Color of Blood by Mona Kabbani or Boy Parts by Eliza Clark, but is still a standout in its own right.

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