I remember in high school, when I would complain about you know… being in high school, I was told those would be the best years of my life.
Then I entered college and the same thing happened: “This will be the best years of your life.” I was sure that they were right. I mean, college is full of parties, friendships, and best of all, not living at home.
Now, as I continue through my twenties, I realize that maybe these aren’t the best years of my life. It kind of feels strange and I constantly feel like I have to have everything figured out, even though I’ve only lived a quarter of a life.
You’re supposed to know what career you want, where you want to live, who you want to spend the rest of your life with, and what kind of person you want to become.
And sure, I do know some of these things. Sometimes, though, it feels like I’m behind because I see people my age who seemingly have their lives completely figured out. Maybe that’s the funny part of it, because 9 times out of 10, they’re just faking it.
your 20s are not what they look like online
With the continued rise of social media and the desire to be a content creator (so much so, that universities are now offering content creation and digital media influence majors), it feels like everyone in their 20s have things figured out.
Before I decided to essentially leave social media, I remember feeling behind because people my age are getting their master’s or doctorate degree, buying a house, getting married and having kids, or landing their dream job.
All the while, I sit at home exhausted from sitting behind a computer screen for eight hours a day, and forgetting that I started laundry three hours ago. It feels like I’m struggling when so many people are succeeding.
The reality is that social media is curated and many of the people with the “perfect” life are simply figuring it out as they go and what they’re doing now may not be what they are doing in ten to twenty years.
We change. We grow. With that, our life goals, ambitions, and wants change.
Social media is full of content that shows the perfect life, but it never shows the hard parts. They don’t openly voice their anxieties about if they’re making the right decision, or the nights they cry just from pure exhaustion. Their page is curated with the bright parts of their life; not the dark ones.
you outgrow things you thought you’d love forever
Let’s admit it, sometimes growth is hard. Sometimes it means that you have to let something or someone go in order to reach your full potential. At a young age, I learned that you will outgrow friendships, hobbies and dreams that once felt permanent.
There is grief that comes along with it. It’s similar to realizing that your girlhood has silently disappeared.
Your 20s are full of these silent moment’s of grief. I’m no longer the young girl waiting for the new episode of Hannah Montana, or the teenager blasting Pierce the Veil, or the college student who spent more time with friends than I did in class.
Life isn’t getting worse, in fact, it’s only gotten better. But that’s what change does.
The previous versions of you are meant to help shape you, not follow you forever.
nobody tells you how lonely adulthood can be
As any kid thinks, adulthood means sweet, sweet freedom.
And it does. But with this newfound freedom also came responsibilities I didn’t have before.
I have to put in effort to help maintain relationships. I take care of household things. I go to work every morning.
Friendships, let’s talk about that for a moment. Adult friendships are hard. You can enjoy someone’s presence and go months without talking. You can miss someone but are too busy to make plans.
Everyone is busy, overwhelmed, and trying to balance taking care of themselves while maintaining their relationships.
you are allowed to change your mind
We often to put a great deal of pressure on ourselves to have everything figured out.
At 18, you’re supposed to choose a major that will help you with your life-long career.
At 22, you’re supposed to graduate and have a career.
At 25, you’re supposed to be married, with a house, and kids.
Sometimes this is societal pressure or it’s personal pressure, maybe even a mix of both. Nonetheless, growth is still happening.
That’s the great thing about being in your 20s. You’re allowed to change and grow freely. Even as you grow older, you’re allowed to change your interests and career. Growth isn’t limited to an age. Changing your mind or out growing something isn’t a failure. Rather, it’s growth into who you are becoming.
you’ll sometimes miss parts of your old life
I think we often want to forget the person we used to be. There are times in my life where I simply do not miss who I use to be.
The anger and sadness that radiated off of me in college can be left there. But there are some days where I miss the late nights working with friends and making jokes. Sometimes I miss the late night walks during fall. Sometimes I miss staying up late and sleeping in the next day without responsbilities.
Although I miss these small moments, it doesn’t take away my excitement for the future and other small moments I’m going to make.
I don’t want to go backward, and I don’t really miss who I use to be. Sometimes I miss the small moments, though, that live on in photos.
you’re doing better than you think
When you turn 18, that’s the magic number when you’re supposed to feel like an adult. But there isn’t a magical click. You don’t wake up feeling wiser. You just slowly become someone you like.
You learn, change, make mistakes, start over, and keep going.
There is not way for us to be the “perfect” versions of ourselves. I’ve always hated that ideology or being called “perfect.” I’m still learning, changing, making mistakes, and starting over. But I’m still going to be a better version of myself.
Entering your 20s isn’t magical or perfect. But that time is filled with lessons, both easy and hard, and experiences that will help shape you, your dreams, and your goals for the better.
let’s chat!
What something you wish someone had told you before entering your 20s?
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